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From Wikipedia:

Definitions of virginity loss

Virgin defloration. Bleeding hymen imageThere are varying understandings as to which types of sexual activities result in loss of virginity. The traditional view is that virginity is only lost through vaginal penetration by the penis, consensual or non-consensual, and that acts of oral sex, anal sex and mutual masturbation do not result in loss of virginity. A person who engages in such acts with no history of having engaged in vaginal intercourse is often regarded among heterosexuals and researchers as “technically a virgin”. In contrast, gay or lesbian individuals may describe such acts as resulting in loss of virginity. Some gay males regard anal penetration as resulting in loss of virginity, but not oral sex, and lesbians may regard oral sex or fingering as loss of virginity. Some lesbians debate the traditional definition and whether or not non-penile forms of vaginal penetration constitute virginity loss, while other gays and lesbians assert that the term “virginity” is useless to them because of the prevalence of the traditional definition.

Since the early 1990s, the concept of “technical virginity” has been popular among heterosexual American teenagers. For example, oral sex is common among adolescent girls who fellate their boyfriends to create and maintain intimacy while preserving their virginity, avoiding pregnancy, or both. In a 1999 study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, the definition of sex was examined based on a 1991 random sample of 599 college students from 29 US states; it found that 60% said oral-genital contact (like fellatio, cunnilingus) did not constitute having sex. “That’s the ‘technical virginity’ thing that’s going on,” said Stephanie Sanders, associate director of the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and Reproduction. Sanders, as the co-author of the study, and along with other researchers, titled the findings “Would You Say You ‘Had Sex’ If …?” In another study, published in 2001 in The Journal of Sex Research, over half of respondents considered that virginity could only be lost through having consensual sex. However, in a study released in 2008 by the Guttmacher Institute, author of the findings Laura Lindberg stated that there “is a widespread belief that teens engage in nonvaginal forms of sex, especially oral sex, as a way to be sexually active while still claiming that technically, they are virgins,” but that her study drew the conclusion that “research shows that this supposed substitution of oral sex for vaginal sex is largely a myth”.

Virginity pledges (or abstinence pledges) made by heterosexual teenagers and young adults may also include the practice of “technical virginity.” In a peer-reviewed study by sociologists Peter Bearman and Hannah Brueckner, which looked at virginity pledgers five years after their pledge, they found that the pledgers have similar proportions of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and at least as high proportions of anal and oral sex as those who have not made a virginity pledge, and deduced that there was substitution of oral and anal sex for vaginal sex among the pledgers. However, the data for anal sex without vaginal sex reported by males did not reflect this directly.

Some historians and anthropologists note that many societies before the sexual revolution that place a high value on maintaining virginity for marriage actually have a large amount of premarital sexual activity that does not involve vaginal penetration.